Pretense

That one word to end the meanings of all words; words that do not stand a chance in front of the façade this one word entails. Every truth, all ingenuity, all graciousness is useless when faced with the intricate web of all the shiny mendacities this word so effortlessly weaves.

Such is the cruelty of this one word. Such is the power of it upon the lives of people all around us. Such is its significance for us. Ingenuity is a lost attribute now— or as far as I can perceive (and my perception is just that; perception). It is gone, buried and done away with. No one wants anything to do with it anymore. Why bother listening to the heart when I can follow the herd. Why bother being who I am when I can be someone else. Why be myself when I can be a third rate replica of someone more prosperous/beautiful/thinner/popular out there.

This world has traditionally been easier on the normal (read: ordinary) than the different. Because being different is often tantamount to being a failure; and failure is looked down upon. Failure is a thing to be avoided at all costs. It tends to have the worst of all meanings and it doesn’t matter if you think contrarily. Your opinion simply doesn’t matter. Period. Failures shouldn’t have opinions, because how can they? If the world doesn’t recognize me, how sacrilegious it is of me to acknowledge myself! How dare I think more of myself than what ‘they’ think of me!

I find myself surrounded by pretense. Those who effortlessly adapt to this philosophy, find that they’re better off in this world. Though whether or not it’s happiness that they experience or merely the satisfaction of conformity, I can’t say.

Eventually I will succumb to the pressures of conformity as well.
It is inevitable.
The pressures are too forceful. It is very persuasive. It has survived for centuries.
Or maybe I won’t and hence will just get old… very cranky and very unhappy.
It is all just a matter of time.
But time has never really been on my side.
And I walk alone.

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To change or not to change..to change

For these past few days, I have been wondering whether I should slip back to my old blog title or keep using the new one. I cannot decide of course, as with so many other things in my life. Decision making has not been the strongest of my attributes, sadly.

Well, here’s the thing, most of what I write in this blog is completely random. There is no fixed pattern to my posts as some of you may have noticed. If one day it’s going to be about my daughters (read: most of the days), the other day it’s going to be some crappy poetry that I very rarely happen to come up with. So perhaps the previous name, ‘Random Thoughts’ was much more fitting than ‘The Thought Bin’. For one, it is not a bin. Bins are used to keep things that you’d like to do away with eventually. You don’t store stuff in bins. I also considered ‘box’, I did. But box somehow sounds more appropriate with ‘tissue’ than with ‘thoughts’. Therefore, I decided to skip that one. Now since I have a tumblr blog by the name of Random Musings, I have been quite puzzled about using the word Random for this blog too. That’s way too much randomness. Even for a random person like myself.

Nevertheless, this was my original blog. It’s been there for quite some time now. Serving me devotedly, through thick and thin. And well, I have been feeling quite evil for taking away its original name from it, I have. Hence I am returning the name, ‘Random Thoughts’ to this baby of mine. It is not a bin I have realized. It can never be a bin. I would never feel like emptying it ever. It is but a compilation of my ‘random’ thoughts.

Well, the ones that I choose to share, anyway.