I have never been a morning person; I sort of loathe all those morning people and yet all my life, I have strived to be one of them. Long time ago, when life was normal, I was still a dreamer and most of the dreams in life seemed quite attainable; I liked to believe in a thing called determination. Of course, a number of years and a lot of terrible setbacks later, I came to realise that it’s sadly, not so. For let’s be brutally frank about it, all the idealism associated with the early hours seems quite relevant while setting the alarm for 5 in the morning. But is bound to evaporate the moment it actually goes off.
Countless of times have I tried to achieve this, apparently unattainable, dream of mine only to have failed every single time. Whenever people tell me of the ease with which they can just drag themselves out of the bed at the crack of dawn, feeling all fresh and radiant, I cannot help but envy them. The world seems so full of possibilities in the morning and it’s so not fair that some of us are forever deprived of availing the benefits.
So yes, yours truly is a night owl; or was, until some time back at least— but unfortunately, life does like to take unexpected turns once you enter your 30’s and as much as we’d like to shake it off as a myth, it does have some truth to it. Though it is usually not before you approach your mid 30’s, that it hits you head-on; the fact that things are not quite the way they used to be just a couple of years back. It’s such a queer time; retarded actually, if you ask me. Quite like the teenage years; minus the abnormal anger, of course.
I am again diverting from the subject; aren’t I?! Damn. So irritating, this habit is. So, where were we? Yeah, on the subject of how terrible my attempts at being a morning lark have been! And it’s even worse now. Since I can’t manage to stay up past 12 and can’t make myself get up before 8 without feeling groggy. Lose-lose situation, I tell you. Feels like school all over again. Sigh.
Well, life goes on and man is a stubborn creature. I shall try to wake up earlier than usual. I will fail again and I will think it cannot work ever— only to try my luck at it again.
The vicious cycles that life likes to engage us in— the ultimate beauty of being alive, not to mention, the ultimate proof of human idiocy….. But that’s another story all together.