Abbu.

My phone rang this afternoon and it was Masooma on the line. She wanted me to bring a cake for Abbu so that we could celebrate father’s day together. It just dawned upon me right there, how dear our father is to us and how much we love him regardless of the fact that we don’t show it a lot to him!! I wanted to write something for him today. I wanted to share with the whole world what a great father he has been to us, for giving us that rare kind of self-confidence that I don’t come across quite a lot these days, for teaching us to be comfortable in our own skin, for having inculcated the deepest principles in us without being a totalitarian. Gosh! I want to write so much about him if only i knew where to start.

Well I would say that he has always been a very unusual parent. He would never stop us from doing anything but we always had this inherent idea of what our limits were. Perhaps that is why we knew our limits. Our morality standards were not set up through force but through love; exactly the way I would like to bring my daughters up someday. All of us made our choices, some good, some bad and some mighty disastrous. But the fact is that even though he didn’t approve of some, he let us make our mistakes and learn our lessons, ourselves. It is a difficult thing to do; being a parent I can understand that. It is so natural for a parent to try and stop a child from a mistake that could possibly ruin his life forever; except not to. We all are secure women, doing what we think is best; in my case even sitting at home, bringing up children! All just because of the tremendous self-assurance that our father has instilled in us. Damn the world, if you think you’re right and if it fulfills you, by all means go ahead, do it. Not that he never scolded us, I am particularly not very fond of parents who turn their children into extremely irritating, spoiled brats by taking their mindless crap all the time. Yes, he scolded us, at times, but the fact that he was always open to an argument and to listen to what we had to say about a matter is what made him superior to all the other people that I knew of at that time. He had the tendency to say, ‘what I’m saying is right”, but we all knew that he just said it without meaning even a word. Freedom of speech and opinion is what we had in our home. A heated discussion on almost anything was always welcome; it was never a one man show in our house. A thing that I’ve not seen in many a household in my life; and I have spent quite sometime on this planet.

I often say that I don’t derive my confidence from the people around me. I can’t care less of what people think about me. My world does not revolve around them. It revolves around what I think of myself and how it will affect me and my family. That is the sort of belief that Abbu has given to me and one of my greatest desires is to be able to bring up my daughters in the way that my parents, especially our father has brought us up.

I aspire to see my daughters grow up as dignified, powerful women, having complete faith in themselves. I want them to have the courage to stand up for what they believe in and never let anyone or anything, take charge of their life but themselves. Nothing will help me more in this regard, than the guidance that I myself have had all my life. Thank you Abbu, for being the extraordinary father and a friend that you have always been! And although we don’t say it a lot to you but you know, we love you!

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5 thoughts on “Abbu.

  1. heyyyyyyy I always wondered why you are so very dear to me Wajia….I mean its true that we have so much in common…the miraculous DOBs…that heavenly beauty…ahem…those saintly souls…and then,,that gorgeous beauty again…but I still have always tried to find out whatever the actual reason could be for you being so precious..guess what????NOW I KNOW >>>>>coz it was destined ..that one day you would write this beautiful piece on your blog about that wonderful guy you call Aboo and who we know as BhaiSab …giving me an opportunity to say what he means to all of us …as a post on your blog….coz normally I don't check blogs..I clicked just coz it was "WAJIA'S BLOG" ….couldn't resist reading….and grabbed the chance to try to say the kind of stuff that's not usually expressed by anyone of us for anyone of us !!!!! as somehow..our family finds it too mushy and filmi to show lovey dovey feelings in words….sooooooooooooo,.,,,,here's the thing….for sometime now…I haven't been able to keep track of birthdays in the family…..I dont know why I've been so forgetful about that….could it be old age? alzheimerz? lol..or just my poor little brain overcrowded by all kinds of disturbing waves…I know my family back home understands why I do what I do and why I don't get to do whatever I should do but don't do..but I still felt soooooooooo bad when I missed BhaiSahab's birthday last month..and have been depressed ever since,,,,when I realized, it was already late….Waqar told me I could still call and wish him..but I was too sherminda to call or even send an e-card late …so thank you wajia …mmuahzz…coz of you I am wishing our very dear brother a belated birthday…he is your Abbo but he is also a father figure for all of us..and so very beloved…I am dreaming of visiting you all to celebrate his 70th,80th,90th and 100th birthday parties inshallah..(make sure fizza comes too..thats the only way I can meet her)after that I might be too zaeef to travel…so I will just call…or wish on video cam after putting on lots of makeup to look pretty and all for the party..coz thats so important…but from now on..I will make sure to mark my calender so that I dont miss the important dates…and masoomaaaaaaaa..( by the way a very happy birthday to you too little one :* )..did you know its not just P Daddy..and its not just these days…long time ago too..when I was little I found out about Beatles, BeeGees, Archie, Jughead & Veronica, and the Greatest Ever Simpsons by seeing the comics your dad read and the records he brought home in his high school and college days..yea…those big black discs called records those days..and did you know he was very good at"twist" the 60ees IN THING? You do have a cool dad.. may he have a very long and happy life ..Amin… LoveChoti Phuppo

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  2. awwwww phuppo this is so touching!…and yeah you're so right..i dont know why saying mushy stuff is so uncomfortable for all of us..but seriously sometimes its good to say these things…and i am so glad that due to my post you could say all this:)…and you dont need to be sharminda phuppooo…you're their darling baby sister! and they love you dearly..but you already know that..and please please visit us soon..we miss you soooo very much!..and yes you're right..abbu is kinda cool and so are you!!!…we're soooo very glad to have such a cool family:)love ya loads phuppo!!!

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  3. Yay! wajo!love the post, love the responseslove love loveit's okayeveryone's a retard in expressing lovethose who aren't well they're too filmi for our taste!*Hugggssss*

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